You Shouldn't Have Those!
by demon-soul-7
Summary: Canada has a secret and the world will soon learn it. Warning: lots of cursing, countries being themselves, and things. Fem!Canada X World. and you decide who Canada ends up with for she has no say in it what-so-ever! Vote on the poll please!
1. You shouldn't have those!

Disclaimer: I do not own the show or the characters, but i do own the plot!

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_**You Shouldn't Have Those!**_

All was peaceful in Canada, a bright cloudless sky, eye-raping white snow, and people were picking up their dog's shit…

Then the G8 came, **all** the representatives (Germany, Prussia, Italy, Romano, Japan, America, England, Russia, France, and Canada).

…But peace only lasts for so long

All of them were late (Where in Hell does he live, dude?), by about five-hours give or take.

When they didn't come, Canada called them and told them where he lived, because they also forgot his number. America did have his number, but it just had to be sandwiched between Pizza Hut's number and Iggy's number, so… well at least he got lunch!

When they got there they somehow made it in one piece, not frozen over, and somehow, at the same fucking time.

Canada answered the door after they murdered his doorbell after five. Fucking. Seconds. (Note to self- do not, I repeat, do not allow America to ring doorbells, okay.)

"America, since when where there two bloody Americas?" Complained a very annoyed England, who was looking between America and Canada.

Canada whispered, "I'm Canada."

The polar bear in his arms looked up at him, "Who?"

Canada sighed," I'm Canada, the person that feeds you." Then he gave them a quick tour of his mini mansion.

Russia, being the big-ass creeper he was, asked, "Canadia comrade, become one with Mother Russia, da?"

"N-no th-thank you, e-eh," He properly stuttered, "Oh, and all of the bathroom locks are broken." Of course no one heard the warning he whispered.

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The meeting went very well…

Only six fist-fights, three long arguments, and they almost accomplished something! But France just had to grope England and that alone undid everything they had argued about for three fucking hours. Oh yes did I mention that the Italy brothers somehow got hand-grenades, luckily Germany got them to spit them out. Plus Prussia tried to put up a power point on how awesome he was, thank you Germany.

…Yes, this was the most productive meeting in years.

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As they were getting to get out of the house, there was a freaking America ghost trying to catch their attention. All he got was a fucked-up American, who was now 'investigating' the only closet that locked.

England, of course annoyed by the other countries, looked at the television. And right before Romano could escape from the other idiots, that wasn't him or Italy (Italy was his ride after all), England called, "Bloody 'ell, guys come here!"

Everybody clambered around the TV (All hail the all mighty television) and groaned/kol-ed. The TV was on the weather channel, and it was not showing something pretty. While they were arguing, a blizzard had rolled in closing all roads and airports.

So to put it simply, they were stuck with the countries they hate the most for a full night in a house of a fucking ghost.

Well, paint it red!

No one noticed said 'ghost' stopped haunting them and whispered that he'll be in the bathroom.

Soon after the 'hero' came out of the closet (look who finally came out of the closet)and announced in his total hero voice, "Dudes, I'm going to investigate the bathroom now!"

And he disappeared into the hallway all the nations hear a door open… and the totally girly scream that followed.

And of course the, "Dude, you shouldn't have those!?" yelled by the ever so 'heroic' America.

"America out you go, eh! Out! **Out!**" came the shrill voice of a loud-ish woman.

When America got out of the hallway he only had a second before someone dashed out from behind him.

The woman looked a lot like America, but her hair was slightly longer and there was a random curl at the side of her head. She was in jeans, a white blouse, and she was trying to kill America with a hockey stick.

All were watching as she trapped America and was about to kill him.

Then to save America, Kumajiro asked the life-saving question, "Who?"

The woman stopped what she was doing and whispered, "I'm Canada, your owner."

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**Please review and tell me where I need to improve.**

**Oh, and there will be a poll on who Canada ends up with.**

**Canada: But can't i choose?**

**Author: Nope, bro!**

**Please review and do not kill me!**


	2. Zits are EVERYWHERE!

**Disclaimer: I do not own hetalia, if I did there would be more romance and this would not be on fan fiction it would be on the show. No matter what I do I doubt I'll get any rights to Hetalia, so it belongs to it's rightful owner. At least I own the idea/plot if there is much of a plot.**

It is a wonder how a beautiful day can be fucked the maple up by her shit-headed brother and his merry men.

ALL Canada wanted to do was change into something more comfortable; less suspicious mind you. She wanted to watch the hockey game, not learn that nine loud, pervertive, male nations are being locked up in her small mansion. And she did not want her secret to be discovered by her hoser of a brother.

So when the American opened the bathroom door she did the natural thing...

She screamed bloody maple murder, put on a shirt, and left to murder her little brother with a soon to be very bloody hockey stick (don't you tell me you have never wanted to do a variation of this).

So when she was about to maim America in front of her shocked viewers, Kumajiroa just had to ask who she was, so she had to answer (maby he'll remember).

Canada dropped her brother and whispered, "I'm Canada, your owner."

Now there were two things Canada realised,

1) She had dropped on her fireplace, so he was knocked out, covered in sot, and a lovely baseball of a bump on his head. Ha, serves him right!

2) Eight of the loud, pervertive, male nations mentioned earlier, are currently watching her. Maple hosers.

3) Plus, why isn't her invisibility working? Invisibility activate!_ Invisibility missed!_

4) Extra plus, she was only wearing a thin white blouse and jeans. Oh and didn't she discard her bandages when she was gonna take a shower. And well the things on her chest could only be called small when compared to Ukraine's, well no one could match hers even if they tried.

Okay, so make that four, nobody can be maple perfect, damn you!

Everyone was frozen in shock, so the rapist decided to break the beautiful veil of silence, "Ma fleur, you surly cannot be Canadia, for he is a male, oui.

Canada whispered' "Papa, I was never a maple garçon." She then promptly hide behind thee fluffiness that is Kumacyro (at least she gets the Kuma part right), for you all see, every single male that was not knocked-out, were all staring at her. Though not all in the same place; Their eyes were kind of wondering (don't you look there).

"I don't get it, ma chéri, I thought you were a garçon." France said while sizing her up.

"You bloody frog!" Spat a **VERY** pissed off British git, "How couldn't you see this lady wasn't a lad!"

And that my young readers is how both France and England were knocked-out for the rest of the chapter, because I am too lazy an am writing in school, to make a proper fight scene, and l-

"Dude, can you hurry up!"

Auther' "Dude, you are just slowing me down! Also no breaking of zee fourth wall, do you comprendè?"

"Kesesese, ja, and only the awesome Prussia, can break zee fourth wall!"o

"Ve~ Pasta!"

"Italy get back here!"

"Potato bastard, stop molesting my fratello!"

"Become one with Mother Russia, da?"

"Th-that would be unnessacery, Russia-kun"

"Who?"

"I'm Canada, the one who feeds you!"

Auther, "Anyways... Back to zee story, bro!"

-landed on the now awake America, effectively knocking him out. (That is what you get for interrupting me and breaking my wall, ha!)

"Ve~ Doistu! What was that?" Chirped Italy.

Germany shook his head, "Italy, I don't know."

Then to bring the subject back, the creepy ass Russia asked, "Comrade, you will tell why you were keeping this secret, da?" Well question or not, it was as fucking creepy as Hell.

Canada saw no other choose other then answer or use the Jedi mind trick on these hosers, but she saw Prussia with a camera earlier. "Maple, fine I'll tell you the whole story, but," she started to look like a giant zit (her face was that red), "I need to change."

"Canada-kun, why do you need to change?" Japan politely asked blushing (Great now we have two fucking zits in the room).

Canada started backing up to the bathroom, holding Kuma-something-or-other tightly on her chest, "W-well...maple, the um... The auther p-put me in a... A shirt an-and I w-was using my band-bandages t-to well cov-cover up, and w-well..." She trailed off, letting it sink in.

Now four things happened

1) Canada dashed into the safety of the bathroom.

2) The nations were either thinking "oh" or " That lucky bear"

3) The perverts of the room all had a major nose bleed

4) And we added to the zit collection.

After all that was done, most of the countries had one thought, "She's kinda cute."

Oh and Japan was taking pictures of the zits and the floor trio, but that doesn't matter.

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**Yay I'm so happy two people reviewed, three favorited, and five followed! I am so sorry that I haven't updated but I had a fuck load of stuff to do and I am kind of lazy :p**

**Well any ways a poll is up so you can put Canada with who you want. Oh and I'll be starting the chapters with all the fluff soon, but I don't know which ship should go first so in your review tell me which one should go first, 'Kay? Oh and give me an idea as to what to do in the chapter and I'll dedicate it to you!**

**Canada: Why am I the girl?**

**America: Dude, where are the ghostbusters when you need them?**

**Demon: The 'ghost' is your twin dumb-ass. And Canada you are a girl because I am zee most EPIC person in the world!**

**Canada: Oh maple, not another Prussia.**

**Demon: Don't say his name, or else you'll summon him. Well please review, fav, or follow!**

**Prussia: Review and the awesome me will come in next chapter and grace you with my humble awesomeness!**

**Demon: Told you so~ and sure 'humble'.**


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